Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize