Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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