i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
