Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
