just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
