My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
