i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she told me i tasted like america
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
