he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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