I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
