Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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