OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
