listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
