I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
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