He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
