Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
