I got her a Nickelback box set.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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