yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
