Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
