hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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