Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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