big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
