it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
