Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
