I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize