Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
