Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
