careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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