Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize