If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Randomize
