Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
