There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
