i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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