so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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