Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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