This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
