Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
