My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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