I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
