i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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