It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
