and next time when you feel me up, do it right
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
