After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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