Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
