The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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