Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
