Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Houston, we have a blender
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
