Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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