What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
