That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
