That's intense
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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