I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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