yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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