i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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