A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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