hell yes lets make some ravioli
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize