Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
