Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
